Ninja Art: Dentistry
by singeivoire
Summary: Defeating enemy ninja is easy, getting rid of a loose tooth is a bit harder. Little Kakashi loses his first baby tooth. Collab with waiting4morning.
1. Chapter 1

Naruto: It does not belong to me.

This is yet another silly collab with waiting4morning spawned from yet another ridiculous conversation on IM. For more "Ninja Art" installments, check out our profiles!

Enjoy!

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Kakashi stared into the mirror above the bathroom sink. This was definitely not normal.

"Daaaad! Something's wrong with my mouth!" he called.

Hatake Sukumo stepped into the bathroom, one white eyebrow raised. "Something wrong with your mouth?"

"Yeah, look at my tooth." Kakashi opened his mouth and pointed to one of his front teeth. "It's wiggling! Teeth aren't supposed to wiggle!" He gave an experimental push with his tongue and frowned; yep, that was not normal at all. Then he clamped his mouth shut, eyes wide. Would his father take him to the doctor? Kakashi hated doctors.

But to his relief, Sukumo only laughed and tousled his son's silver hair with one hand, ignoring his son's scowl at the gesture. "You're losing your baby teeth, Kaka-kun. It means your adult teeth are coming in so they push the small teeth out of the way as they grow."

"Really?" Kakashi leaned back to the mirror a little eagerly. He'd been a chuunin for more than a month now, but even when on missions, his teammates--most of them older than him by ten years--insisted on calling him "kid." But now he was officially getting grown-up teeth! They wouldn't be able to call him "kid" any more. He pushed harder at the tooth with his tongue until it started to hurt a little, but it didn't pop out.

"How long until it comes out?"

"It'll gradually get looser and looser until you can tell that it's ready to be yanked out of there."

"Do you pull it out with your fingers?" Kakashi reached up to touch the loose tooth with his index finger.

"You can try, but sometimes fingers don't get a good grip," Sukumo chuckled. "You may have to be creative to get that one out. Come on, Kaka-kun. Time for breakfast."

Kakashi wiggled his tooth all through breakfast in-between bites of his rice cake. He wiggled it afterward as he got dressed, and he kept wiggling it on his way to the training grounds.

"Get creative," he murmured, recalling his father's words, staring at the wooden post that served for target practice. "I got it!"

Pricking a finger with a kunai, Kakashi carefully flashed through a few hand seals and slammed his palm on the ground.

_"Kuchiyose no jutsu!"_

A tiny puppy with a snub nose and curly tail appeared after the smoke cleared. The brown puppy looked up at him with reproachful eyes.

"Aw, what is it? Mom was getting ready to feed me."

"It'll be real fast, Pakkun, I promise," Kakashi said, digging around in his ninja pouch for shuriken wire. Finding it, he looped a length around Pakkun's collar and, lowering his mask, tied the other end around his tooth. "Okay, now run as fast as you can."

The puppy stared at him.

Kakashi frowned. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to get my tooth out," the six-year-old said, jabbing a finger at the loose tooth. "It's all wiggly. Otousan says that means it's ready to come out, so I summoned you."

The puppy perked up, stubby tail wagging. "You mean, this is a mission from Sukumo-sama?"

"Um... sure," Kakashi scratched the back of his head.

The puppy sketched a salute. "Alright, I'm on it!" He wriggled with excitement. "Oh boy, my first mission! Wait till nii-san hears this!"

Pakkun began to run, the wire zipping out behind him. Kakashi watched its progress and braced himself for the pain as the last loop unfurled.

"Ugh!" Kakashi felt his head jerk forward slightly as the light pulled taut, but nothing, not even a smidge of pain. What was going on? He looked up at Pakkun at the other end of the wire. The puppy was running in place, his soft feet slipping on the grass.

"Pakkun, stop!" he called and sighed. Guess his personal summons was too small still. Oh well, he wasn't a Hatake for nothing. He'd come up with a way to get rid of the tooth and fast.

After he had disentangled his tooth from the wire and released Pakkun, who was rather sullen after his failure, Kakashi spent a few minutes gingerly prodding the offensive tooth with his tongue. He could taste a slight metallic tinge - the familiar flavor of blood - and wondered if maybe he could just yank the tooth out on his own.

He went a little further into the forest so as to avoid prying eyes. Pulling out another length of wire, he lowered his mask, and lashed the tooth once more. This time, he tied the opposite end to a kunai. He straightened, found a tree that would serve as a suitable target, took aim, and flung the kunai, giving the weapon a little boost with his chakra - just to be sure. There was a sharp ache in his tooth, and he heard the blade's thud as it reached its target.

At first, he was certain he had been successful. Kakashi approached the kunai and examined the wire. The tooth, however, was not there - the strand pinned to the tree terminated in a pinkish frayed end. He tasted a bit more metal and probed the offending incisor with his tongue - there is was, still in his mouth, trussed up like a enemy nin who had fallen into a trap. It seemed the chakra boost had done little more than break the wire. Kakashi crossed his arms - quite put out. Then he sighed, replaced his mask, and began to stalk back toward the village, tonguing the tooth the entire way.

By the time he reached the wall of Konoha, he had determined that his second attempt hadn't been a complete waste. He could now get the tip of his tongue under one corner of the tooth - enough to feel the sharp enamel edge of the tooth's base. If he rocked the tooth back in forth, he could feel little suck-sucks of air and spit escaping from the new gap that was created between the tooth and his gums. He rather enjoyed the sensation, reflecting that it was a little like cracking your knuckles, picking a scab, or popping an enemy's arm out of socket - one of life's grubby pleasures.

Lost, as he was, in reflection, he didn't notice the familiar chakra signature until Gai was about 50 meters away. He pretended not to notice the other boy's sneaking at first. It was more fun to let Gai make the first move.

Oh, and Gai would definitely make the first move: he always did. Ever since he had been paired with Kakashi for target practice during their one shared class at the academy, Gai had refused to leave Kakashi alone - calling him his "Eternal Rival." Even Kakashi's early graduation didn't dampen Gai's competitive fervor. He wasn't like the other kids at the academy, who seemed to regard him with a mixture of awe and resentment. Far from having an inferiority complex, Gai seemed to take Kakashi's early graduation as a personal challenge.

At first, Kakashi ignored him to make him go away. Daddy had said that would work - "Just ignore him, and he'll leave you alone." It didn't work. Gai just accused him of being "so cool" and behaved as though he'd just lost some sort of challenge. The more Kakashi ignored him, the more hyperactive Gai became. To tell truth, it was kind of funny: he found he could pester Gai quite effectively by doing nothing at all.

So he did nothing now. He paused in a clearing near the village wall and waited, still fiddling with the tooth, to all appearances enjoying the autumnal splendor of the forest.

"A-HA! Kakashi-kun!" Gai flipped out of some nearby trees and came right for Kakashi's head with an airborne kick. It was a little sloppy, Kakashi thought dryly as he stepped calmly out of Gai's path of attack. The green-clad boy landed on both feet, skidding on the slick grass. Kakashi readied himself for a thrown kunai or perhaps another aerial leap, but the other boy just stood, hands on his hips, grinning wide.

"What do you think of that, Kakashi?" Gai asked. "It's a surprise attack I just made up today at the academy! I'm thinking of calling it 'Super Entrance!' or something like that."

"Um… it needs a little work," Kakashi said, raising an eyebrow.

"Hmm…" Gai put his chin in his hand, scrunching up his forehead in thought. "How about 'Ninja Art: Awesome Entry'?" Then he shrugged and held out his hand in an opening taijutsu position. "Never mind. It'll come to me. And now, my rival, I will defeat you, or I will do 5000 sit-ups!"

Kakashi rolled his eyes and settled into a defensive posture. Gai lunged and for a few minutes Kakashi was busy blocking the other boy's heavy throws and kicks. After a moment, they separated, both boys breathing hard. Kakashi was a little surprised; it had only been a couple of weeks since he'd last sparred with Gai, and the boy had improved since then; the punches now aimed for his face were actually quite close, instead of laughably off target. Kakashi considered the gaps he'd noticed in Gai's defense, tongue still working on his loose tooth.

Then he stopped, struck by a brilliant idea.

He dropped his left hand a few centimeters, opening up his defense ever so slightly. That was all it took. Almost before he had finished deciding to let Gai hit him, Gai had taken the initiative, and a fist connected squarely with Kakashi's mouth. Kakashi could feel spit fling from his lips and ricochet off his mask, smearing his face as his head was snapped to the side with the impact. Yuck. But hey, if it was successful, Kakashi could live with a spitty mask.

He didn't go down with the impact, but Gai was celebrating nonetheless. "I really got you that time, Kakashi-kun!" The dark-haired boy was still bouncing around, ready to continue the spar. "It just goes to prove the overwhelming power of Youth!"

Kakashi almost said 'we're the same age, dingbat,' but he refrained. Instead he raised a hand to indicate that Gai should wait. Gai stopped bouncing with a pout, and Kakashi turned away from his 'rival' and lowered his mask cautiously. He spat into his hand and quickly re-covered his face. There in his palm, an island in a pool of bloody spit, was a surprisingly small white rectangle of tooth. He wondered for a minute if the tooth had broken or something. He prodded the spot in his gums. Nope, it was all gone. All that remained was raw gums and the taste of metal, and, if he fiddled with the spot long enough, he thought he could detect the teensiest bit of new tooth straining for the surface.

He grinned under the spitty mask and turned back to Gai, who was looking perplexed. Once he spied the tooth in Kakashi's hand, though, a few gears seemed to click into place. A look of utter delight spread over Gai's face.

"I knocked your _tooth_ out? All right!" Gai gave an enormous grin, as if taking extra pride in his still complete set of chompers. Feet spread, smile fixed, Gai placed one fist on his hip and pumped the other in the air above his head. "Victory is mine, my Eternal Rival!"

Rather than actually conceding defeat, or correcting Gai's misconception, Kakashi placed the tooth carefully in a pocket of his shuriken pouch.

"Thankths, I've been thrying tho get rid of that toothh all day." His words were supposed to be dry and disinterested, precisely the tone that set Gai off. However, he noticed that his words, particularly 'thanks', "trying," and 'tooth' came out sounding fluffy and distorted - like his cheeks were stuffed full of dumplings. Kakashi frowned at this, but Gai whooped in glee.

"Ha-HA!" Gai pointed an accusing finger at Kakashi. "Not only have I won, but I have defeated your coolness, Kakashi-kun!"

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "I'm heading home now."

"Better luck next time, my eternal rival!"


	2. OMAKE!

"Omakes" are those random extra stories that you get after the end credits in an anime episode. For more information on this omake, go to or just google "multiculturalpedia". There are some pretty strange baby teeth customs out there...

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**Omake!**

Before Gai could boast further about his "victory," Kakashi leapt into a low branch of a tree and started the journey back to the village. Now all he had to do was throw it under the house.

But when he got home, he realized that there was a problem. He lived with his dad in an apartment… but surely the whole building couldn't be called his home? Kakashi thought that one out a bit, then nodded and took out one of his kunai.

Sukumo found him about a half hour later, cheerfully ripping up a portion of the carpet in his room. He watched for a moment then rubbed his face wearily.

"Kakashi, I assume you have a good reason for destroying your carpet?"

Kakashi looked up without an ounce of guilt. "Yep! Look, Dad!" The younger Hatake pulled down his mask and grinned wide, revealing the new gap in his smile.

Sukumo blinked and decided not to mention the telltale bruising around his son's jaw that was just beginning to turn purple. "Oh, it came out today, did it?

"Yep! I did what you thold me to do, Dad. I got creative!" Kakashi grinned and Sukumo coughed to hide his laugh at the new lisp in his son's voice. Kakashi continued hacking at the carpet with his kunai until a worn wooden floorboard was revealed.

"You still haven't answered my question, son."

Kakashi looked back up, a bemused frown crinkling his brow. "I'm planting my tooth, like you're supposed to."

"What?"

"You know. If it's a lower tooth it goes on the roof; if it's an upper one, under the house. I didn't think the landlord would like it if I started digging though—plus we don't really live in the whole building—so I'm putting it here."

Sukumo opened his mouth and then shut it, scratching the back of his head. "Ah, well…" He noticed the familiar stubborn glint in Kakashi's eyes and sighed in defeat. "Let me get you a hammer instead. You'll ruin the flooring with that kunai."

Kakashi looked with unconcern at the floor, blissfully unaware of things like landlords and damage to property. "So?"

Sukumo changed tracks. "You'll ruin your kunai hacking away like that."

"Oh!" Kakashi hurriedly laid aside the ninja weapon and shot to his feet. "Let's get that hammer then!"

He scurried out of his room, and Sukumo eyed the damage to the carpet with a sigh. "He still has a lot of teeth left. Perhaps I should switch to tatami mats."


End file.
